It is the emotional and the physical needs of a man and a woman that bring them into a relationship which then culminates in a marriage. In days gone by, couples were more tolerant of each other and let go many matters to save their marriage because it was unacceptable for a marriage to breakup. This century has seen more breakups than ever before; moreover, it continues to be on the rise.
A relationship of a marriage or otherwise is a very complex matter and intricately binds the two souls together. Disagreements between two minds are bound to happen in any relationship. The two can come to a common understanding and compromise, or if the conflict is too violent and occurring repeatedly, it is better to break up.
Here are fifteen reasons as to why marriages/ relationships break up.
Physical and/or mental abuse: This is one of the major factors which finally bring about a breakup of a marriage. This is caused by the sadistic attitude of one of the partners which was kept covered up before a marriage. The spouse who gets the brunt of it, is kept under control, and is intimidated and manipulated. There is less chance for such a relationship to continue for long.
Attraction towards another of the opposite gender: This happens because of one spouse does not give time enough for his/her partner. Communication gap, in words or physically, may develop between the two which, as it widens, paves the way for attraction of one spouse/partner towards another person of the opposite gender.
Cheating and Infidelity: When a spouse begins to get attracted towards an unmarried person or one who is married, intimate relationships between the two develop and deepen and if the developing intimacy is not noticed by any one, it may end up in infidelity. This may go one for a long time till it is discovered causing devastation to the marriage/s and breakups.
Constant humiliation before others: One spouse/partner may be less empathetic than the other; they have no inhibitions in speaking ill of their partner/spouse before other people. The targeted spouse is always made to feel that s/he is ‘good for nothing’; there is no regard for his/her dignity and sentiments. This is because of the selfish attitude of the targeting spouse who shows off to people that life of the two together would never be as good as it is at present without her/him. The suffering partner is invariably made to feel inferior. S/he may even have to undergo humiliation by his/her spouse before others about his/her inability to bear children.
Constant nagging: This is again an attitude of a partner/spouse to keep the other at his/her beck-and-call. The targeted partner has to bear up with the other partner’s constant fault-finding, complaints, scolding, criticisms and frequent sarcastic remarks. There is no concern for the feelings or the respect of the partner. The tendency to nag is more common with women than with men. This is done in an effort to adjust their partner to their standards of living. When the targeted partner does things to please his/her partner, s/he comes up with new ‘points of improvements’. The suffering partner may tolerate it for a long or a short time but the breakup is inevitable.
Repeated comparison of one’s partner with another man or woman: One partner may constantly compare his/her spouse/partner with others simply belittling them, trying to tell them that their lifestyle is not of a caliber which s/he desires. The targeted spouse/partner generally ends up developing an inferiority complex; s/he tries to match up to the standards of their partner to maintain peace and keep the relationship/marriage intact but it is of little use and it ends up in a breakup.
Drug or alcohol addictions: When a partner is addicted to alcohol or to drugs, s/he is unable to behave with a sober mind. His/her intellect is seriously affected and s/he may even be incoherent at times. This is more common with men than with women. He may even beat his wife/lady love mercilessly and routinely under the spell of the alcohol. S/he may quit going for job and earning for the family. The other partner, not involved in such addictions, finds it difficult to cooperate with such blatant behavior and soon or later their relationship ends in a breakup.
The head of the house not contributing towards family income: Whether the wife is jobbing or not, it is the duty of the husband to earn and fend for his family. These days, it has become common in families for the man of the house not to job/do business and lazily while away his time in vain pursuits; the family lives off the woman’s earnings. Because of the duty hours, stress of a job and with no time at home to spend with the husband and take care of the family, not forgetting her own-self, the family begins to fall apart and the marriage begins to crumble down.
Love between the two in relationship obviously means that each one selflessly has concern for the otherpartner; they show it by seeking his/her benefit in all matters. Some relationships continue well but some couples need to make definite major changes in their relationship for it to continue.
The root cause of a breakup of a relationship is the selfishness that erupts in the heart of one or both partners; the love factor which was in the relationship diminishes over a period of time. Here are fifteen reasons as to why marriages/ relationships break up.
Love for money more than love for the partner: A partner may love money so much that he never has enough to spare so as to share out with his/her partner. For couples before marriage, only onepartner may be paying for all outings they have together or purchases made together so that the financial burden even in petty matters is not shared. This is asking for a breakup in a relationship as it becomes very dry without spending money on each other (which shows love for one another). In a marriage, if the finances are not shared equally or if there is financial secrecy or any stress in financial matters like heavy debts which one partners cares less about, it can sour the marriage bond, ending in a breakup.
Disregard/hatred/rudeness towards one’s family members and/or friends: Spouses or partners in a relationship can be insensitive to the feelings and emotional bond with each other’s friends or family members. They are belittled when in company of other people or the spouse is not allowed to keep in touch with them; all means of communication may be cut off like emailing, phone calls or even snail mails. Such behavior devastates the person under attack psychologically and s/he finds it difficult to cope up with the situation, asking for a split up of the relationship.
Desire for independence in finances and/or otherwise:These days, because of heavy rise in prices in all commodities of life, a man’s salary may not suffice to fulfill the various family needs. For this reason, the wife takes up a job and brings her salary. The wife soon enjoys her job and her salary. Alongside, if the husband sees his wife’s salary coming in, either of them may soon demand freedom to shop and enjoy money the way they like. Similarly, in other matters, each one may prefer to have independence in whatever they do and revolt against any interference from the other spouse. Such attitude may soon end up in a breakup of the marriage.
Incessant arguments and quarrels: A marriage or a relationship may break up if either or both partners have frequent fights with each other and fail to understand each other, when each one wants to have his/her own way, never agreeing for a compromise. The arguments go out of control and they shout at each other, throw things at each other, and abuse each other.
Disproportionate sharing of the decision-making power:One partner may take the liberty to exercise more decision-making power for common matters likefinances, vacations, household situations and the like than his/her partner. Usually it is the male who behaves this way because of the ego in him, but a female may also behave similarly. Such imbalance in sharing the common power in a relationship may cause a breakup of a relationship or even a marriage unless the other partner is given equal right to make decisions.
Jealously in a relationship: Jealousy can cause great devastations in a relationship/marriage. A man or even the woman may feel that s/he is getting less attention than s/he ought to get which s/he discovers is being filtered out to someone else, even an in-law in a marriage; it can trigger a breakup in a relationship.
Repeated lying: A spouse or a partner may habitually tell lies to his/her spouse/partner. In such cases the right picture is never clear to the otherspouse/partner. A constant attitude of lying can throw a relationship or a marriage into jeopardy and finally brings about a breakup.
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